Though it is cliche, it is so true that once you become a mother (or just a parent, really) you see the world completely different. You really do begin to see the world through the eyes of your child. And that can sometimes be such an ugly picture.
In an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (of course I am referencing KUWTK – I happen to love it) Kim Kardashian and her mother went on a trip and she also carried her (ever so beautiful) daughter, North along with her. When they returned home from their trip, Kim and her mother were telling her sisters about a very rude and obnoxious lady who was on the flight with them who apparently was shouting very rude and racist comments about her and her baby at them on the flight. Kim’s sister Khloe’s response was “I would’ve punched her in the face”. I am not ashamed at all to say that I share the same feelings that Khloe did, and unlike Kim, I truly believe that I would have punched the lady in the face.
Thankfully, I would assume that in the situation with Kim Kardashian, her daughter was too young to even realize it but sadly, this is not always the case.
What sometimes makes situations involving children so much worse is that most people do not realize how sensitive children are and how something that may seem simple to an adult can negatively affect a small child. Because young children are usually egocentric, they truly believe that the world around them is literally just revolving around them. A few years ago I was working in a preschool and each afternoon the children would go to the school cafeteria where the school’s cook, Mr. Carlos would give them their afternoon snack. The snack menu changed on a daily basis and there were usually snacks like yogurt, Oreos, cheese puffs, Goldfish, you name it. One of the snack choices was Cheez-its. Those are these hard cheese flavored crackers and the children really didn’t care for them much. One week, there had apparently been a problem with the school’s snack order and the children were given Cheez-its two days in a row. The next day, which would have been the third day, we got to the cafeteria and much to their disappointment, they were given Cheez-its again. With a sad face one of the children looked at me and said, “Miss Kim, is Mr. Carlos mad at us?” I had no idea why this child would think that because Mr. Carlos is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met and all of the kids loved him. I told the child that I didn’t think he was and I asked him why did he ask me that. His response – “because he keeps giving us Cheez-its and we don’t like them.”In that situation of course it was not intended to hurt the children’s feelings, but it just goes to show how little ones think. My daughter, who is two years old has had her poor little feelings hurt by an oh so immature ‘adult’ a few times, and whats sad about it is, it was intentional and for reasons that are so petty and stupid and have absolutely nothing to do with her. A former acquaintance of mine, who had a very close connection to our family felt the need on a few occasions to snub my precious child. This person and I used to be pretty close; we hung out a lot and as I said there was a close connection to my family so my daughter actually was very fond of her and referred to her as “Aunt”. Once me and this person were no longer speaking, for very silly reasons as I said, she then apparently stopped speaking to my daughter as well. What makes this so much worse is not only the fact that my daughter is only two years old, but the fact that she noticed that this person now ignores her whenever she sees her anywhere. On the numerous occasions that this happened, each time my daughter would say to me, “Her not say hi to me” or “Her not talk to me anymore” and this makes me so upset. My child is practically a baby and someone who is supposed to be a mature adult, and who is also a mother, feels that it is cool to behave this way toward an innocent child. It leaves me to wonder, who is the child here?
I think that it is so moronic and insane to think that it is okay to hurt (in ANY way) an innocent, defenseless child who literally is not even aware that there is or even could be a problem; but that’s just me. I know that everyone is not an expert in dealing with children, and by no means am I one either, but I do think that we as adults could sometimes be more aware of how something that may seem so simple to you could be so major to them. You might not even realize that the reason you think the way you do or do certain things the way you do could be because of something that happened and influenced you when you were a small child.
So the next time you feel inclined to say or do something rude to a child, no matter how simple it may seem, remember this – they are just an innocent child and if you get a kick out of hurting them, you truly do deserve a kick – in the ass.