Post up, FLAWLESS.

Having lost a bit of weight recently, my BFFL sent me this article to get my opinion. First thought was, yes, we do live in a society where thin privilege exists, and it’s pretty fucking shitty that the author of the article was treated better by her friends and family after having lost weight. However, I wholeheartedly disagree with her belief that people who lose weight shouldn’t be praised. It’s an accomplishment and should be celebrated. If someone sets a goal – of any kind; weight loss, academic, professional, whatever- and they meet it, they should be praised. Throw ’em a fuckin’ party, they did the damn thing. While it is kinda weird for my friends and family to refer to me as an inspiration, if it helps to motivate them in any way, then fan-fucking-tastic. Getcho life, boo!
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That being said, if weight, or physical appearance is the only thing that someone is being praised for, or if they are only treated kindly because they weigh a certain amount or look a certain way, then that is very problematic. Because I haven’t experienced this in my own life, I asked a friend of mine who recently lost a considerable amount of weight if she had a similar experience. She said that, like the author of the article, she’s had to curve men who had previously not even acknowledged her existence. While this is, unfortunate, she says she was able to weed out the weak assholes; which is always a good thing. Generally speaking, she attributed people’s increased kindness towards her to her own increased happiness with herself. Similar to this tumblr user below:
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I am in no way claiming that the experience author of the original article is the same as my friend’s or as the tumblr user’s, but it’s interesting to see different perspectives on the same issue. Personally, I haven’t experienced any of this as a result of weight loss. Men who didn’t acknowledge my existence before, continue to do so. My friends and family treat me no different.They praise me for accomplishing a weight loss goal in the same way that they would (and have) if I accomplish any goal. I haven’t even noticed much of a difference in the way strangers treat me. I believe this is because my attitude hasn’t changed. I don’t treat my family or friends any different. I have always been equal parts affectionate and sarcastic towards them, I still pretty much avoid talking to strangers at all costs, I’m a bit more confident yes, but as my BFFL once accused me of… I basically came out of my mama’s womb like this:
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And that’s exactly how I intend to go through the rest of my life, not sorry. Ain’t shit changed.

While I can’t speak for the author of the original article… in my experience, it is often attitude. I know a woman who began her weight loss regime already beautiful, and ended it in the physical prime of her life and STILL confided in me that she envied MY confidence. Me, the girl sitting next to her in clothes that were easily 5 sizes bigger than her own. This shocked the hell out of me because to me, she is gorgeous and has every right to walk around hair flippin like Yoncé.

Admittedly, my experience could be because my family and friends are (no bias here at all btw) pretty damn awesome and supportive. For example, a few days ago, some Instagram random wrote under a #TransformationTuesday photo “you’re kinda hot now”.
Kinda?…
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DF you mean “now”, son? Before I even realized what was happening, my cousin and BFFL went IN on him. They dragged yuh boy.
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People shouldn’t be treated differently based on weight or any kind of physical trait. The only advice I have to people who do this is….
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If someone does this to you, they’re doing you a favour by letting you know they’re an asshole who should not be associated with. Forget them because…
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As my little sister said the other day on the subject “whether you a size 2 or 22, happiness is what is important.” Start happy, end happy; curve the assholes while hairflipping like Yoncé.
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A vulgar dance party in the CARIBBEAN?!!!

Hello Mix Up readers! Welcome to 2015, we’re off to a late start but we’re back! And with a bang. You’re welcome.

Trigger warning: Rape, Domestic Abuse.

Heads up; there will be swearing as well.

Today we’re gonna talk (rant) about one Mr. Leslie Miller. We’ve all seen the video of him talking (LAUGHING) about abusing his ex-partner. If you haven’t, enlighten yourself. He later ‘apologised’ to the Bahamian people by writing a cheque for a whopping $1000 (wow, ballin) to the Bahamas Crisis Centre, who essentially told him to shove it.  *slow claps*

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 Fast forward a few months (almost a year really) and Mr. Miller shares some remarks about carnival, which is expected to take place in Nassau at some point. As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes, we’ve all got one; so go ahead and share it Leslie. *grabs popcorn*. Now, I’m gonna go ahead and pick out my favourite bits of his opinion and explain why they are WRONG AS HELL.

1. “The young people in this country are totally out of line morally.” …  This was said by a man who admitted to physically abusing his ex-partner. A man who recalled the events in a playful manner, laughing …WHILE IN THE BLOODY HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY. A man who when given an out by the speaker who said “Now, he’s just joking”, said “no, I’m serious.”

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Okay.

Sir, you are out of line morally.

2. Carnival will encourage, “promiscuity, fornication, rape, incest and other sins of the flesh.” …. promiscuity and fornication already occur on a daily basis in the Bahamas, let’s be real. And who cares TBH, getcho life. I’m not here to judge anyone, and neither should Mr. Miller. Do you boo.

But moving on to the notion that carnival will encourage rape????

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WHAT?! Unless they’re bringing actual rapists over for the event I’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit on that, Leslie. I’m gonna need you to stop spreading these ignorant, victim blaming, rape myth accepting views to my people. Thanks!

I don’t even know what to say in reference to carnival encouraging incest because that is the silliest of his entire carnival commentary. Show me the receipts, sir!

3. “I am not enthused about it to be honest with you.” – “But it is not my decision.” … Now, this one I honestly did like. Once you know, bruh. It’s happening.

Fast forward ONE DAY. And yuh boy ‘takes back’ these statements because Perry Christie pointed out in an interview that Leslie Miller’s daughters are quite (though I’m not sure the extent) involved in carnival.

Let’s take this at face value, he said he spoke out of turn and that he was not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter etc etc yada yada BUT, he still said publicly that women dressed a certain way = rape. He apologised for talking shit about carnival because he wasn’t ‘educated’ enough, but how about getting yourself educated on a more serious matter such as rape, before you speak about what’s going to cause it. I can assure you Mr. Miller, it ain’t those carnival outfits. He said that his daughters made a ‘believer’ out of him in reference to carnival. Good job girls, honestly; I’m sure that was tough as hell. Only now someone needs to make a believer out of him when it comes to things like rape and victim blaming.

You can start with this article, where women shared the outfits that they wore when they were assaulted. And wouldn’t you know, no carnival bikinis!

Here’s some photos, if you don’t feel like reading:

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 A few weeks ago I was having a conversation on this same topic with a male friend of mine. If you’re reading this, sorry bruh, but you asked for it. :)

Him: If you’re dressed like a slut, you are asking for it.

Me:

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Him: It’s like if I walked down the street with all my gold chains on. I’m inviting a thief to take them.

Me: … You have every right to walk down the street with ALL your jewelry on, if someone tries to steal them, it’s because they are a thief, not because you asked them to.

Him: Yeah but by wearing them, I’m giving them the opportunity to rob me. If I don’t wear them, they can’t steal them.

Me: Okay, I see your point. When we go out later I’ll leave my breasts and vagina on the night stand.

Him: …

Me:

In short, the ‘vulgar’ young people are not the problem. The problem is the ignorant, ass backwards opinions that people in power have and then feel the need to spread around.

Mr. Miller, if you’re reading this, I invite you to become as educated as you can on every topic you brought up as being a possible result of carnival; especially rape. If I didn’t make a believer out of you, discuss it with your daughters; I’m sure they have opinions on this as well. Ask them what they thought about you telling the world you used to physically assault a past girlfriend on a regular basis. Ask them how they felt when you laughed about it. Ask them how they would feel if you did that to their mother. Ask yourself how you would feel if someone did that to them, and then laughed about it on national television. Ask yourself how you would feel if god forbid, they were sexually assaulted and someone had the fucking nerve to blame it on what they were wearing; thus excusing the perpetrator’s actions.

Jessica

Your anaconda don’t.

That’s right. Another article about Nicki Minaj’s video “Anaconda”.

I’ll be honest, I hadn’t even heard the song in it’s entirety when I started hearing about how ‘nasty’ and ‘slutty’ the video was. Naturally, I had to watch. And I fucking loved it. Sure, the dancing was risque and Minaj and her dancers were scantily clad, but welcome to show biz folks. Plus, in reference to the dancing, spend a weekend evening in any club, you’ll get the same show. I’m losing my focus here. Anyway, these are small things when you watch the video prepared. I was prepared, prepared to be disgusted, to experience some serious female degradation. By the end though, I was nothing but impressed. Allow me to explain.

Let’s start with the lyrics. THE LYRICS. The entire song is about various men she has conquered, reduced to a lusty mess because of her amazing posterior; about all the things she got from them because they were mesmerized by her body. The lyrics are quite empowering; throughout the song SHE is in control of her sexuality. “He love my sex appeal”, she’s acknowledging her own sexual attractiveness, is proud of it and the power it gives her. There are actually very few lines from “Baby Got Back” featured in the chorus of this song, one of which being “oh my gosh, look at her butt”; I feel that’s a middle finger to the male gaze; because that’s the only thing you’ll be doing to Ms. Minaj’s butt, my friends… looking.

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Moving on to the video. Firstly, I love that she and her dancers are dressed the same way, and dancing together. She’s not above them or better than them; she’s with them, their buns are equally as powerful. I don’t understand the people saying this video is demeaning. If you can look passed the shaking booties for five bloody seconds you might see the point. Anyone who can’t is one of the many this video is meant to call out. For example, the fruit scene. Minaj is meant to be making a smoothie or something, whipped cream ends up on her chest (to distract the mouth breathing male viewer), then she holds a banana suggestively near her mouth… and cuts it into pieces.

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… Okay, I couldn’t resist.

 

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The message this scene is meant to convey is your “anaconda don’t” have any relevancy here, buddy. Anaconda, though named for Baby Got Back is not only doing a 180 on the meaning of the classic, but is also completely shattering the male gaze. Sir Mix a Lot informs us that he only likes women with big bums, Minaj let’s everyone know that big bums are fantastic, that she’s used hers to lure unsuspecting men into traps etc; but hers is not here for you or your ‘anaconda’.

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Then Drake walks in. This scene was THE best. He barely moves the entire time, she is twerking and dancing like mad all over him, the floor, what have you. She is in control of the situation, of her sexuality, of what happens next. And what happens next is that after all the ‘suggestive’ dancing, he tries to touch her and gets his hand slapped away. Because… and I’m gonna write this in caps for reasons. HER OUTFIT AND/OR DANCING DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE ENTITLED TO ANYTHING, HUN. Her desirability does not equal availability; nor is it up for comment. It belongs to her and she’ll do with it what she pleases; so sit small, hun. Pun intended.

Jessica

Yall know that scene in the notebook where Noah is hanging from the ferris wheel and tells Allie, in front of her boyfriend that he is not taking no for an answer and that if she doesn’t say yes to a date with him, he’d let go; thus plummeting to a gruesome bloody death, that would OBVIOUSLY be her fault, right? Listen, I know that as a member of the female population I’m supposed to find this super romantic, but from the time I watched the film at 17 to this very second, that scene annoys me to my very core. I remember whispering “do it”, much to the aggravation of my friends forcing me to watch. I still stand by that. The phrase “don’t take no for answer” is about not giving up when it comes to reaching your goals in life. What’s it’s not about is harassing and manipulating a woman to go out with you. Threatening to harm yourself or someone else if she doesn’t is a form of abuse; and the very opposite of romance. Now, I’m aware it worked out for these two in the end. Welcome to fiction.

Moving on to some NON-fiction. I present to you the video for Get Her Back by Robin Thicke. Robin is clearly also not taking no for an answer. This dude isn’t even taking “you ruined everything” as an answer.

Those texts that appear throughout the video are real, according to Thicke. Which makes it worse in my opinion. No one can know exactly what is going in either of their heads in this situation, but from what we can tell Paula has made her decision and he responds by making a pathetic plea in the most public way possible. This being bad enough, he then publishes private text messages, possibly without her knowledge. Is harassing and publicly embarrassing someone the new form of wooing?

 

Actually, it’s not. This idea that romance is when the guy would do anything and everything to ‘get the girl’ (‘anything’ obviously includes ignoring her constant ‘no’s) has been around for ages and is constantly finding itself into many pop culture narratives. Doesn’t matter what she says lads, keep trying; she’ll give in eventually! And if that doesn’t work, just threaten to kill yourself and you’re sorted! That is one of the most disgusting forms of emotional manipulation and abuse one could attempt, and it can be seen in this very same video. Thicke imitates a gun being pointed at his temple a few times during this video. Perhaps a subtle threat? That, accompanied with the images of both of them drowning and him being splattered with blood, (his or hers? I don’t know) is enough to make your skin crawl. Still, we’re expected to see it as romantic. What is Paula expected to see it as?

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When I first saw the video I thought how unfair it is that she would be forced to see her lying, cheating, drunk ex climb the charts with an album that’s got her name on it. Then, yesterday as I was driving home, the song came on the radio. I thought, shit, what if I was Paula? What if she’s just dropped the kids off at a playdate and is on her way to yoga when BAM she hears this plea over the radio. And the person in the car next to her is singing along. What special brand of torture is this?! First she’s treated poorly during the relationship and then after there’s no escape. ZOMG how romantic. Let a woman be this romantic. She’d be called every form of ‘crazy’ and ‘pathetic’ that exists before they even start recording the songs.

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Can we please redefine what is considered romantic? Cause none of this is actually romantic, it’s bloody terrifying. There is nothing sweet, and cute about not taking no for answer; it’s threatening. One of our own Mix Up writers has had an experience of unwanted advances lately herself. Last week, just about everyday, flowers were sent to Kimberley at her place of work; with no signature. She has no idea who is sending them; it sure as hell isn’t the one person she wants to receive flowers from; her boyfriend. Yes, this isn’t as awful an example as Paula: the album, but it’s still VERY creepy. What’s she meant to do? Sit there wondering who the hell is watching her go to work? Perhaps cooing and swooning as women do over the possible handsomeness of her would be-gentleman caller?

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Who knows! What I do know is two things: 1. She doesn’t want them. I wouldn’t want them. I don’t know many women who WOULD enjoy receiving flowers from NOBODY. 2. If she was to send flowers to a man in the same fashion (hypothetical universe where boyfriend is not present) she’d be considered an absolute lunatic; sad, delusional, and desperate. Instead of those things, this guy is sitting there thinking he’s being romantic. “Chicks dig this kinda thing”…*ahem*… or rather “gals likes dis type ting”.  Buddy, if you’re reading this… you are so very welcome for the harsh truth/good advice. And on behalf of Kimberley:

 

Jessica

Make progress, not excuses.

No, this post isn’t about exercise. As if. Now, I hate to admit this, but this article began with an argument over a Tyler Perry movie. During a particular scene, one character was being shitty to their spouse, I won’t say which because if one more person defends them I am going to scream. I outwardly called this person a colourful name, because, well… I’m me; and my friend, who has seen this movie countless times tells me “you can’t say that, because so and so did xyz to them and they’re just lashing out.”

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Say what now?

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…that means he wasn’t being a dickhead? Someone was shitty to you in the past, so that means you can be shitty to other people and not be called out? To quote the recently crowned winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Bianca Del Rio, “not today, Satan”. Bad things happen to people all the time, some worse than others, some unspeakable, but it doesn’t earn you a free pass to be a dickhead. And a spade shall be called a spade. Sorry about it.

And since everything in my world at the moment is a Game of Thrones reference, allow me to explain you a thing about Tyrion Lannister. THIS guy right here…

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was given a shit hand his entire life, his father admitted to almost drowning him right after birth, his sister wanted him dead from that same time, and no one in his general vicinity hesitates to make sure he’s aware just how little they think of him all because of something out of his control. And yet, through all of this he’s managed to grow up into a genuinely good person. If anything, those negative experiences made him MORE understanding and more sympathetic.  He could easily treat everyone like shit and there will be people to say “he’s been through a lot”.

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This is not to say that those bad things that happened in the past should be forgotten or that they didn’t matter, they did, and they do; but they do not give you a license to be awful to someone as a result.  As Philip Zimbardo (the man who carried out the Stanford Prison Experiment, read about it here) put it, “psychology is not excusiology. What I’m saying is, we can understand what the social psychological processes of transformation were operative in that situation. It does not excuse the behaviour.” So, though current behaviour can be explained, be understood, it doesn’t mean it is to be excused; you are still accountable for your actions. I understand why you might have been lead to do what you did, but it doesn’t mean you weren’t being a dickhead.

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At the same time, these actions do not make you a bad person. Good people do shitty things sometimes, more often than they like to or even mean to, welcome to being human my friend. Everyone (including you and I) has hurt someone in their lifetime; on purpose or otherwise. Apologise and move right along. Accepting that you did a shitty thing does not mean you have to consider yourself a bad person; and making excuses about why you did said shitty thing doesn’t mean the action was cancelled; it happened, and it should be dealt with accordingly. When my nephews misbehave I tell them, “I love you, what I don’t love right now is your behaviour”; because it’s the truth. Let’s be real, they’d have to develop into serial killing sociopaths for me to maybe love them less. A broken glass, stained carpet, or the odd tantrum won’t have much of an effect on that, but they will still accept the consequences of their actions.

 I feel like was a lot of rambling… but I hope I got my point across in a non-asshole kinda way. Basically, don’t act like a dick, and if you slip up it doesn’t make you a bad person, once you aren’t afraid to admit when you’ve behaved like a dick, and don’t get mad/defensive or make excuses when people confront you about it. Capisce? Accept, apologise, move on.  It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. After all, what’s the alternative? A lot of people in pain, for nothing.

 

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Jessica

“I’d rather be a bitch than a doormat.”

Title quote is from Jessica Zafra.

I’ll admit, I was at a bit of a loss for what to write about this week. And then I came across this video…

Edit: Just before this post was to be published youtube removed the video because it violated their policy that prohibits content designed to harass, bully or threaten. YOUTUBE KNOWS. The video depicted a beach filled with tourists and normal beach stuff, while the cameraman narrated. He’s heard saying something along the lines of “wow, what a beautiful day! Still doesn’t look as good as your ass!” The woman that this comment was directed at promptly turned around and asked him to delete the video. He said no as it was a public beach and if she doesn’t want to be looked at, commented on and recorded then she shouldn’t dress like that. IMAGINE THAT, A BIKINI ON A BLOODY BEACH, WHAT A SLUT, AM I RIGHT?! (do note the sarcasm). Various people around them made similar comments, even women. However, she stood her ground; when he wouldn’t stop or delete the video she knocked the camera out of his hand and he runs into the street to get away from her. Hats off to you, lady! She didn’t go to that beach for you to comment on and record her behind. So invite you to have a seat.

Harassment aside, no one has any right to film someone and use said footage without permission. That was douchebaggery plain and simple. Moving on; the gentleman (read: dickhead) who posted it calls it a ‘freak out’. See, here’s the thing, I’ve had less tame reactions to street harassment than this. My absolute favourite though belongs to my cousin. This year, we’ve started walking a few miles every day; and as you can imagine there’s no shortage of ‘men’ shouting various obscenities, blowing kisses, honking etc. Any old how, one day, we stop to gush and squeal at some dogs being walked. As we stop, so did a car full of men. The driver of said car did the whole, eyebrow wiggling, big grin, kissy noise thing. Without missing a beat, I mean before ya boy was even able to open his mouth to speak my cousin shouted “you better fucking be talking to these dogs!”

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I didn’t catch his exact reaction because I was too busy keeling over in a fit of laughter, but when I emerged he was long gone. This particular incident as well as the incident in the video are examples of what women everywhere go through on a regular basis. And god forbid we not be pleased to be treated this way.

On another walking occassion a man did the same kissy noise at us and again, without missing a beat, as if practised we each held up a particular finger in his direction. He shouted back “yall so rude!”

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WE’RE RUDE?? Listen, take that noise elsewhere. You act like an ass towards me, you get it right back. Sorry I’m not sorry. I don’t care what your motives are, I’m not here for you. Public sidewalk, public beach or not, I am not public. Call me rude all you want, what I’m not is a play thing. I’m not exactly scary or intimidating; I’m a short young woman, but street harassment will never receive a positive reaction from me. You will be ignored, embarrassed in front of your boys and/or spoken to like dog shit.

More examples from my everyday life (for you to adopt or simply get a giggle from):

Idiot: Hi sweetness, I could talk to you for a minute?
Me: To what purpose?
Idiot: …
Me: I guess not.

Another idiot: HEY LOVELY!
Me: HEY OGLY!

Yet another idiot: Ay! Mango!
Me: I AM NOT A FUCKING FRUIT!

Oh wow, look at that another idiot: Hey baby, you just my size, I could get your number?
Me: No.
Idiot: What happen? You married aye?
Me: No.
Idiot: You have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Idiot: …
Me: No.

Idiot who thinks this is a compliment: Hey chunky!
Me: Hey bald spot!

 Those are just a few of the clean examples; the disgusting things men think they can shout at strangers has and will always amaze me. I’ve had men follow me around shops despite my many protests and rude remarks, for them to only stop dead in their tracks when they walk outside to see my 6 foot plus, tattooed, brick shithouse of a cousin in the car waiting for me. Another occasion, with the same cousin (let’s call him Ian), only this time in the back seat not the passenger side, I was stopped at a gas station and the man across from me started doing the whole kissy thing. Ian who is unable to be seen due to the tints in the back, says very calmly, “Jessica I really don’t know how you put up with this. He’s calling you like you’re a dog.” I was prepared to just ignore the man but Ian says “Jessica, don’t let him talk to you like that!” Still, I said nothing. Fed up, Ian leans over me and says “She ain’t no fucking dog!” The pure fear on that man’s face was one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed. And it made me realise that none of these ‘men’ are concerned with my feelings, they’re not scared or intimidated when I ignore them, or make snappy remarks. Twas then that I decided to stop being passive and to fight back, the only way that I physically could, by shouting, swearing, being as loud and vulgar as they are. It shouldn’t take another man to get them to stop.

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I’d like to encourage the rest of you to take this stance. Make your annoyance known; once it’s in a way that you still feel safe, let em have it! We’ve taken their shit long enough, and we’re throwing it back!

 Jessica

You can’t sit with us!

For the few of you who didn’t recognise the title, it’s a quote from one of the most quotable movies of all time; Mean Girls, because today’s topic (rant) is bullying! We all know at least one bully, or have seen someone be bullied or have been bullied ourselves. It can happen in any situation; home, school, work, anywhere! Yay…

Most bullies are the standard, ‘insecure about xyz and takes it out on an unsuspecting victim’ kind, but there are sub-groups. There’s the ‘jealous bully’. The kid failing class who decides to pick on the straight A student. Pretty straight forward, right? Practically vanilla.

Then there’s the ‘self hate bully’. Freud believed that people often despise and are most hateful of things that they secretly crave. So the tough guy whose always bullying gay guys? Freud would argue that it’s because of his repressed homosexuality. Researchers at the University of Georgia would agree, read about their study here, it’s bloody fantastic stuff; really.

Now, all forms of bullying are wrong, I think we’d all agree. However the worst kind of bully is the one who smiles while rubbing salt in your wounds, the one who is your best friend in public but spews venom elsewhere, the one whose abuse ends with “just saying”, “I was only kidding, relax!” or “why are you so sensitive?”; this, ladies and gentlemen is called victim blaming. They’re not mean, you’re just sensitive.

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I find this kind of bully to be particularly repulsive because at least the others know that they’re bullies; this one paints themselves as the victim. They turn the blame to the real victim by saying things like “why do you have to take it so seriously” or give ass backwards apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way”.

The other day, I went to pick up my little brother from soccer practice and while I sat there waiting for him I saw two little girls playing. Well, one girl was playing, the other was bullying. She kept tossing sand at the other, taking her stuff etc. Until finally, the first girl stands up for herself and tells the other to stop. To which she responded “I’m leaving because you’re being mean to me!”

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She genuinely believed that by this little girl standing up for herself, not taking her shit/calling her on it, she was being mean. I just… can’t. AND I’ll let you in on a little secret (that’s probably not actually a secret), these girls (or boys) grow into adults with the same attitude. Jenna from MTV’s Awkward phrased it perfectly, ‘mean girls don’t grow up, they just get older.’ These are the people who respond to ANY negative criticism by calling you a hater. Haters exist mind you, but you have to be self aware enough to tell the difference between criticism and hating.

If someone tells you that something you said/did bothered them and you dismiss their feelings and continue to say/do it; you’re a bully and you can’t sit with us. Not only are you a bully, but you’re the Regina George of bullies; the worst. “You think everyone is in love with you but actually everybody hates you.”

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Now, anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not trying to say the world is all rainbows and butterflies and everyone should just get along. If you don’t like someone, you don’t like them; but rather than being a prick about it, you can follow these two easy steps that have worked for me.

1. Shut the fuck up.

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2. Walk away.

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It’s that easy! You don’t even have to smile while you do it! Whenever I hear people moan about someone else I just stand there wondering ‘why do you associate with them?’. WHY? That’s because the Regina George’s of the world also have Gretchen’s. Their ‘friends’ who, though they know just how hateful she can be, are still dying for her to like them. Maybe it’s a fear of being on the receiving end of the shit-storm? Who knows!

All I know is it leaves the rest of us like:

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So if you’re a Regina George.

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Everyone has their own pile of problems without someone else throwing more on top. Going out of your way to put someone down is pathetic and just plain mean. It’s also time consuming, I mean…put that time that you spend thinking of them and mean things to say or do into something productive. Knit a friggen sweater for your cat or something. People should be allowed to be who they are, like what they like, like who they like, do what they like (once they aren’t hurting anyone) without your negative opinions coming in from all directions.

SO.

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Because…

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And you must never be afraid to say

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It happens to the best of us. Just apologise and keep it movin’!

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Jessica